Thursday, 31 January 2008

  • Just a note

    Today, in my statistics class, I raised my hand for a question and the teacher said, "Yes sir? I mean, ma'am. Sorry" And about a week ago, in my intro to sociology class, the same thing happened. (different words, same effect)
    And at the main, I handed over my ID to pay for my food, and the worker was like, "Okay, where is she?" ...I was like, "That's me."

    I don't know exactly how I feel about this.

Monday, 14 January 2008

  • conversations with my 13 year old self

    As I make this transition, I often compare myself and my values to those I held when I was younger. I hated being called naive and innocent! I really did! But it was true. And I hate that even more! I had NO idea of the workings of the world and the way it all would be.

    And the worst part about it...the younger version of me would've been very disappointed in me today.

    THAT SUCKS

    Was I right or am I right? My life is a whirlwind of questions now when I used to have such faith. I used to know exactly what I should do, and I held by it. And I knew exactly what was right for me. Then again, back then I was never challenged. Never tempted. I knew what I knew without the test. There's something to be said about temptation. My past self is screaming at me for even thinking about it. For even considering falling to the temptation. My current self says that, this will lead to more knowledge. To figuring myself out a little better. That it would be worth giving up my values for just one night, because at least then I'd know. And then I feel like slapping myself in the face.

    I just don't know.
    I just don't know.

    Never lose your passion. Always respond with love,
    Shells

Sunday, 30 December 2007

  • Advancement of the Human Species

    I've been on a kind of evolution kick lately. Like, truly wondering how much humans have contributed to the world in the past, and where we'll go in the future. We've made a lot of advancements in technology and towards manipulating the world, but have we really contributed to the advancement of free thought? I often think that the ancient greek philosophers had more to contribute than most of modern society. But that's not really what this post is about.

    When speaking in terms of evolution of a species, its a mutation in DNA that causes advancement. Like, the moth that mutates to the color of a tree will survive better than the ones without the mutation. And even though we, as humans, know this is true, we desperately work to "fix" all mutations in human DNA. We try to "cure" every disease. People see suffering because individuals with certain conditions cannot function in our society, but do we really know if that's a bad thing? Seriously, maybe they don't function in our society because they're a step above us. Maybe they've been given a gift, rather than a hinderance.

    That being said, I am making the prediction right now. Let it be known that I truly and sincerely believe that those people with advanced cases of Autism are, in fact, the progress of the human species. Call me crazy, but there it is.

    Autism is very common, and exists along a spectrum in intensity. But think about what you've seen of autism. Not all, but a lot of those who live with this "condition" are VERY good with computers. Like, these people are brilliant, they just can't communicate in our terms. I believe that they may be able to communicate on a higher level than we know. I watched a clip on CNN of a girl who is autistic and communicates by typing into her computer's voice simulator. She can't speak to us, but she can type really fast, and has a lot to say. She said that she uses the computer to talk to people, and also has other movements that help her communicate to others with autism. I think this is amazing.

    Its just a thought. But maybe we should stop trying to "fix" everything that is "wrong" and work better to help accomodate those people into society.

    Shells

     

Monday, 24 December 2007

  • I did something

    I felt like I was drowning. Like I was falling back into the hole I dug myself into over the summer. I felt suffocated in this town. A week. A week was all it took and I was back where I was. That place that I could only escape by running away to Texas.

    So I did something. I told my mom. Everything. Everything that I was afraid she already knew. And then she said "I love Shelly, the details don't matter." And I knew that it would be okay. I was afraid she'd freak and she didn't. I'm still fearful of others, though. Of people that were once my friend that need to know but don't need to know. I hate being dishonest. I really do. I figure though, there's probably like, 4 people here in this town that I will keep in my life in these upcoming years. Those four should know. Two of them already do. Am I being vague enough? I hope I'm being vague enough.

    I'm going to change the world.

     

    Shells

     

Wednesday, 31 October 2007

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Drmline2007

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    • Name: Shelly
    • Birthday: 11/26/1988
    • Member Since: 5/16/2004

About Me

  • I'm not afraid to live in the dark, because even if not knowing holds fear, it also holds hope. I am, however, afraid of that moment when you hit the switch but the light hasn't come on. Or before your eyes focus anyway. That moment, when you don't know what's there, but you know that you're going to find out.